$uelar$.com -- Your personal lawsuit community

Well, it's been a great time. Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end. Thankfully, it's not the end for $uelar$.com... yet. Checking at this site from time to time, I've noticed that it's not loading the includes/cgi's properly at times, so I've decided to remove all interactive content. Everything is frozen as of December 11, 2000, 10:40PM PST. While I plan on keeping the site up for as long ask possible, it is no longer possible to sign the list or view updated ask jeeves questions.
Here's some numbers:

Between May 13, 2000 and December 11, 2000, there were 65,458 hits, 4.78GB of data transferred.
Those nifty Ask Jeeves tie-ins generated $171.00 at $0.02/click, which was used to continue serving this site.
Ask Jeeves reported 25,610 hits (I don't know why it's much lower than my numbers), with 8,227 clicks (that's a 32% click ratio, which is nearly impossible in today's world).
So that's it. So long, and thanks for all the fish.

To date, 1639 ex-Metallica fans have joined the class action lawsuit against the band.
We need your help! Join the lawsuit and help put an end to the injustice, right the wrong, take back what is rightfully ours, introduce folk dance...

For every 300,000 "virtual signatures" received, we will donate one dollar to paylar$.com. Not for paying for already licensed music, just that's all we think we owe you for your "losses".

$uelar$.com Your personal lawsuit community

BTW, to the trolls out there, don't try flood posting -- it won't work

$uelar$.com gives ex-Metallica fans the ability to quickly and easily join a class action lawsuit against the band. While the legal grounds for such a lawsuit have not been found yet, we realize the urgency for public outcry far outweighs minor details such as the law.

Metallica has successfully convinced Napster to ban over 300,000 users of the popular music trading service, citing illegal distribution of the band's copyrighted music. We, the consumers believe this to be an blatently illegal act, considering all 300,000 banned users already owned all Metallica music shared on their computers, and all downloads of Metallica-related music were from law-abiding users who were currently clutching their CD collection as they were hitting "Download".

Metallica has no legal right to silence the trading community from distributing licensed and legal software. We feel that a class action lawsuit is the only way to expose the injustice that has been allowed to run rampant. We need the "virtual signatures" of as many of the 300,000 banned users as possible to make this lawsuit work. This does not necessarily mean you have to be a banned user to enter this class action lawsuit. All we need is your "virtual signature".

Join the class action lawsuit.

See the "virtual signatures" of current lawsuit participants

See what people are asking Ask Jeeves to get here! (NEW!)

A note from $uelar$.com creator Ryan Finnie:
PBBBBBBBBBBBBBBT!!

-- Ryan Finnie

Another note from $uelar$.com creator Ryan Finnie:
Hey, it's my $15 and I'll do what I want with it! (On a serious related note, appearantly Rupert thought of the idea before me. While I didn't know that when I registered the domain, I figured I'd give him some recognition. Happy? :-)

-- Ryan Finnie

REAL Legal stuff: There is no lawsuit. If you think a "virtual signature" is all it takes to enter a class action lawsuit, you are sadly mistaken. There is no spoon. $uelar$.com is in no way affiliated with paylar$.com, which is in no way affiliated with Lars Ulrich, whcih should not be affiliated with Metallica. The opinions on this site are not the opinions of the creator's employer, mother, therapist, or landlord. Damn, speaking of which, my rent's due. Anyone have a couple bucks? The creator of this web site is not responsible for any physical or emotional damages to your computer, random acts of God, vomiting, or delusions of grandure caused by this web site. If you are not completely satisfied, please return unused portion of this web site for full refund. No bovines were harmed during the production of this parody (well, not directly). Yes, in case you didn't notice this is a PARODY. PAR-O-DY. Current US law (assuming our laws actually work anymore) protects parody as free speech. So please don't sue us back. You'd probably win, but all it would accomplish is inspiring more losers to create more parody web sites. Anyways, thank you, you've been a wonderful audience.