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Article posted on Aug 28

50 Hours on the Playa

• Posted by Ryan Finnie on August 28, 2002, 11:45 pm

So it's one day later. I've taken a shower, gotten some rest, and given myself time to compose my thoughts, mostly rehashing thoughts from the ~2 hour drive back from Black Rock City to Reno. Here we go.

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Article posted on Aug 18

No Title

• Posted by Ryan Finnie on August 18, 2002, 4:46 pm

Finally, a casual use for alcohol, for the single geek who has nothing!

Fill blender with ice, and remaining space with water. Blend until slushy. Add a tub of Crystal Light and a shot of Apple Pucker schnapps. Mix.

Serves one over the course of a boring Sunday where both the cable and DSL are b0rked, leaving subject with a slow-ass dialup connection.

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Article posted on Aug 17

No Title

• Posted by Ryan Finnie on August 17, 2002, 4:26 pm

So I was watching TV just now and something made me think of the Arch Deluxe. See, McDonalds had grand hopes of making a "new, revolutionary burger", something to beat the pants off the Big Mac in terms of popularity. This was coupled with a massive marketing campaign featuring Ronald McDonald doing things like golfing, to prove this was a "grown up taste". Ultimately, the public found out that it was Just Another Burger (albeit a good-tasting burger), and sales were mediocre. McD stopped the Arch Deluxe.

So just now I went searching for info on it. And I found many "Home-Made Arch Deluxe" recipes out there. However, none were exactly how they were made. Now, I happened to be working at McD when the introduced this burger, so I consider myself an expert on this.

Please excuse me while I cry.

Back, thanks for waiting. Here we go...

The Sauce: This sauce was actually pretty kickass. I used to dip fries in it. To me, the loss of the sauce was the biggest disappointment of the cancellation of the sandwhich. As best as I can tell, 2 parts mayo to 1 part brown mustard makes a decent approximation. Still, it isn't perfect. Hell, I didn't even know what was in the original. It just came on the truck in a tube saying "Arch Sauce".

The Meat: Standard 4:1 meat (1/4lb frozen patty). Burgers are cooked at McD via a clamshell system, where both sides are cooked evenly at the same time. If you can replicate this, go ahead and do this. As a last resort, just fry it one side at a time, making sure to drain the juice as it cooks. When meat is nearly done cooking, season with a mix of 1 part salt, 1 part pepper.

The Bun: Large, tall, sesame-seed-topped potato roll. I've seen rolls sold at CostCo that look similar. Now, here's where the other web sites get it wrong. Do *NOT* toast the roll. The only things that were toasted at McD (as when I was working there) were Big Mac rolls and english muffins. Instead, leave the rolls exposed to air for about 15 minutes. This approximates the ~1 hr where the flat of buns are partially exposed to air in the store. This may sound a bit weird, but of course it's quite harmless.

The Bacon: Standard cooked peppered bacon, but formed into a round shape. If you cannot find peppered bacon at the store, take a shitload of cracked peper, throw it into a pan with a lot of Pam, then cook the bacon on top. If your family members actually want bacon on the burger, charge them $0.39 extra.

The Other Fixins: Crisp lettuce pieces (whole, not chopped), a tomato slice, ketchup, and a slice of american cheese. Don't get the Kraft single-slice american cheese; it is too rubbery. Instead, go back to CostCo and get a full brick of alternate-sliced cheese. If it says "Schreiber" on the brick's packaging, you're in luck; that's the exact same manufacturer of cheese that McD uses. Chopped onion, larger pieces, the same as currently used on the Quarter Pounder.

Putting It All Together: Assemble as follows:
Top bun
Sauce
Ketchup
Onion
Tomato
Lettuce
Cheese
Hamburger
Bottom bun

It's easier to assemble from top bun to bottom, and the flip the whole thing over. That's how it's done at the store. For the final step, you must "Q" it. All burgers go through a "Qing Oven" before going out. A Qing oven is essential a microwave; nuke the burger for 20 seconds on 50% power.

And to the nay-sayers... No, you do not have to leave it under a heat lamp for 4 hours to get the "full effect". McD actually has very strict QA standards; fries have a shelf life of 7 minutes; burgers for 10. And besides, only the fries are under a lamp; the burgers are kept warm by a convection system.

Anyways, enjoy!

(Why did I post this again?)

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Article posted on Aug 13

Kill me.

• Posted by Ryan Finnie on August 13, 2002, 10:56 am

I hate people. Here's two stories that make me question my sanity...

In April I bought a new car from Reno Toyota. Now, amongst the thousands of times I had to sign my name, one of the documents was a contract, basically saying I had 10 days to find external financing and hand them a check, otherwise they'd get financing for me. Pretty standard stuff. So I went out and did get financing through Sierra Pacific Credit Union. Got a $20k check from them, handed it to the guys at the dealership, got a receipt. Simple enough, no?

Well sometime after I got a letter saying "Welcome to Franklin Capital Corp. Here's the details of your loan." I put two and two together and figured out that Reno Toyota got my financing anyways. However, before I got a chance to call up and start bitching, I received another letter saying the account had been closed. Fair enough, problem solved itself.

A couple weeks ago I checked my credit report on Equifax, and noticed the Franklin Capital item on there.... and it was adversely affecting my credit score since it shows a new account opened 3 months ago, whereas my last account opened before that was over a year ago. So I file a dispute with Equifax, saying that account wasn't really mine.

Yesterday Equifax's response arrived. They contacted Franklin, and Franklin said the account was really mine. So I called Equifax to dispute yet again, and they said I must contact Franklin.

So I contacted Franklin. They want a copy of the cancelled check and receipt I got from Reno Toyota before they'll even consider removing it from my credit reports.

I just got off the phone with Sierra Pacific to get a copy of my check. I love this.

...

Ugh, I'll post my second story later. Long story short, EBMUD thinks I still live in Richmond and have water service. Lovely.

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Article posted on Aug 6

heh

• Posted by Ryan Finnie on August 6, 2002, 1:34 pm

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